Spiritual Portrait

from Knatz.com Personal / TopPageArchive 2004 Father’s Day

Jarred Lightning
Catfarmer sent me this image for the first Father’s Day after I’d adopted her as a Knatz.com (spiritual) “daughter.”

greeting card image, permission asked, pending, not certainImage by Chisel Vision / InterArt.com
On the card she wrote:

Dear Paul:
This card reminded me of you and I’ve been saving it for a special occasion —like Father’s Day!

By golly, the dude even looks like me! (Or like I may come to look in another decade or so.)
(2012 I think I have!)

I try not to say too much on my top pages. (Whether I say too much or too little in what follows I myself do not have a consistent opinion of.) I sure loved getting that card from Catfarmer. Even she was surprised how much I liked it. Can anyone understand what someone else thinks, feels, believes … “sees”?

I have asked InterArt.com’s permission to use their copyrighted image at my home page. I mounted it within twenty-four hours (but so far still lack their blessing). Briefly, the old guy holds jars of lightning in his arms. He’s got a wheelbarrow with other jars already gathered. In the background his old woman snares the lightning.

The guy looks like me: aged a bit. The old woman looks neither like Catherine nor like Catfarmer; but that’s OK: stand by: I’ve got a way around that detail! [My beloved Catherine was still alive then. She died that autumn.]

For centuries people have wondered at DaVinci’s Mona Lisa. DaVinci himself wouldn’t let the painting out of his sight: always said he was still working on it: spent the owner’s money but never delivered (an artist! even when the owner was the king of France!) Who is she? Oh, sure: we know the subject, we know the circumstances, we know her husband … Bull shit. That’s like saying that Shakespeare’s Sonnets are about some spoiled aristocrat: or that they’re about Will himself. I’ll tell you what the Mona Lisa is: it’s a “self”-portrait, exquisite, the greatest ever in a plastic medium: no, not of DaVinci the man; it’s a portrait of Leonardo DaVinci’s soul!

Yes. And this picture is a portrait of Knatz.com. pk’s body, aging, vulnerable but not yet ready to quit, holds the revelations in modules (or attempts to, any such vessel leaking like a sieve). pk’s mind / spirt (might as well be an old woman) (though in contrast to DaVinci homosexuality has nothing to do with it) waves a conductor at the void: holding on for dear life, yet dancing. Knatz.com is the wheelbarrow. It holds yesterday’s captures: what’s left in them: leak, leak. pk tries to hold some current ones, to transfer them to the barrow. [Now, 2009, arrested, censored, Knatz.com destroyed but pk back out of jail, I try to ressurrect my messages from me, from God, from god, from nature … from Potential Intelligent Humanity!]

Do they do anyone any good? Maybe a little. Impossible to tell.

There [were] a number of modules [at K.] on storms, lightning: hurricanes, tornados …

It was during a tornado, in 1990, the only one I’ve ever directly experienced — directly against my own flesh — that I experienced some of the greatest lightning I’ve ever imagined: 360! zenith to horizon! continuous!

Though actually that was after the tornado had done it’s worst. You couldn’t see any lightning while in the tornado.

natz.com had offered plenty of earlier views of pk; this image was something new: a symbol of Knatz.com itself.

Divine messages go in one head and out the other.
Neutrinos punch through the earth without even slowing down.
Light at least gets bent as it streams by a star.
Hell, I guess divine messages get bent too.

2006 06 22

I don’t bother to look in the mail box every day and sometimes don’t bother for several days in a row, even, as in this case, when warned. Cat told me to look for something special for Father’s Day; now I get the package: three things:

  1. a coin
  2. a tie
  3. a card

The hand-painted Jazz tie (partly a joke: she knows I don’t wear ties) (and she knows I love jazz) was used as wrapping for the coin. So that’s doubly thoughtful even if it had no better practical use than as wrapping. Actually, it’s nice: I may hang it on the wall.

The card was very thoughtful. Not only was it Cat’s precious writing (in this case hand-writing), it reproduced an oil of The Lament for Icarus by California painter Jess. Three pale bare-bottomed beauties, their bosoms covered only diaphanously, tend to the fallen Icarus:

who flew too near the sun!
Big, heavy, and simply beautiful, sterling silver apparently, is a reproduction of a Greek coin:

Poseidonon the face.

But the best part of the present came yesterday: by email, after I’d told her something interesting and personally relevant to both of us about the painter Jess. (No. Stop guessing. That Jess was homosexual is irrelevant to both of us.) (No, it has to do with why Jess became an artist.)

Yes, she told me that the choice of Icarus for pk had been deliberate —

But here’s what bowled me over: she emphasized that the choice of Poseidon too had been deliberate: she associates pk with Poseidon!

Wow. And I never saw it coming. Van Gogh? Yes, I see that: and agree. Apollo? Maybe, I see it: whether or not I agree … But Poseidon!!!

Another email just came which I may cite some of here later: but an hour after posting the above, I “get” it in a new way: I introduced Cat as the Knatz.com “goddess”; now she’s comparing me to a god. It’s symmetrical. It’s like saying “I love you”; “I love you too”: or dropping the other shoe.

PS: the image above posts here a little dark. I could fix the contrast in minutes if any of my old PhotoShops worked on my Mac running OS X. But I can’t afford to keep up with the planned obsolescence of the economy. That we all therefore suffer is nothing new.

pk & Cat

My son, bk, introduced me to Catfarmer‘s writing online in the spring of 2003. He’d recently emailed her a fan letter: she replied to him that she’d been meaning to write him a fan letter! I sent my own fan email: and so Catfarmer discovered pk! She accepted my having Knatz.com adopt her as a “daughter”: and was thrilled when I used a top page to call her a Knatz.com Goddess.

Understand: we have never met. I doubt that she and bk have ever met. bk and wife and pk and Cat have had some nice I-chats.

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About pk

Seems to me that some modicum of honesty is requisite to intelligence. If we look in the mirror and see not kleptocrats but Christians, we’re still in the same old trouble.
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