A Connecticut Nixon In Bing Crosby’s Court

Recreating (and advancing) pk’s censored domains: Macroinformation.org &
Knatz.com / Personal / Writing / Satire /

Riots at Attica Prison occasioned this epistle to the Nixon White House in 1970. In those days anyone would have recognized the reference to the Bing Crosby’s musical of Twain’s second or third most bitter novel. The humor requires that the reader be able to picture it, reliving the rhythm of the song.

1970 08 27

Dear President Nixon:

I’ve been feeling sorry for you recently — all this trouble in the news, and none of it your fault but everybody blaming you. Well, I was watching the old Bing Crosby movie of a Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court the other night on TV and it gave me an idea I think you’ll really like. Somebody was saying in the paper that the trouble is the President can’t really know what’s going on these days because he’s so well protected and can’t talk to anybody but generals and all? And there’s been all this trouble with prisons and prisoners and it made me think that you can’t possibly know what it’s like to be arrested and thrown in jail.

I’m sure that with your youthful good looks and all that if you disguised yourself as an ordinary person, maybe skip a few haircuts some week, you get the idea, and went wandering around the country side like King Arthur did, there’s a good chance that you would be able to experience what more and more of our young people are learning every day.

Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court

I have this wonderful picture of you skipping down the road with Bing Crosby and William Bendix singing:

We’re busy doing nothing
Working the whole day through
Trying to find lots of things not to do.

Bing Crosby and William Bendix

Remember to wear a groin protector. And if Pat and Tricia join you, make sure they wear them too. Women’s Lib or not, for a long time now, the police have treated women almost as fairly as men.

Yours truly,

The source of all humor is not laughter but sorrow.
Mark Twain

My letter to Nixon [first in Satire menu] suggesting new ways for him to keep the war in Vietnam going while harvesting political advatage with promises to end it has been posted in the Satire section for some time. I add this now to harmonize with my “essay” on the police.


About pk

Seems to me that some modicum of honesty is requisite to intelligence. If we look in the mirror and see not kleptocrats but Christians, we’re still in the same old trouble.
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