Recreating (and advancing) pk’s censored domains: Macroinformation.org &
Knatz.com / Teaching / Society & Its Pathologies / Social Survival / Culture /
There’s this man who comes every week. …
He gives me money and takes away the pages.
So much money, so many pages.
When I was nineteen I began to enjoy self portraits (or generic portraits) by favorite writers. I think I heard of James Joyce’s Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man first, but I may have actually read Dylan Thomas’ Portrait of the Artist as a Young Dog ahead of it.
Angle of Portrayal: Worshipful? Denigrating?
Of course I’d known Van Gogh and Rembrandt self portraits since childhood. Sophomore year in college though was when critical sense prodded me toward my present essence as connoisseur. And let me tell you: Beckett’s opening to Malloy cited above is my favorite.
I have no man who comes every week. No ones has ever taken away my “pages.” Measuring direct payments only, my life receipts for my writing totals no more than $200. After a while my pages were on floppy disk, now hard drive and CD ROM — and the WorldWideWeb — where perhaps few will ever find them.
Kurosawa’s kid watching the foxes dance in Dreams is stupendous, but for film my favorite artist self portrait is Marcello Mastroianni’s Guido in Fellini’s 8 1/2 sitting down, like a toddler, refusing to walk, getting dragged.
And I’m reminded of the last time I had to be dragged: first day of school. I walked with my mother to the school, as I’d walked with my mother and sister for Beth’s first day. But this time, as we got right up to the building, I realized it was me who was getting abandoned this time. My own mother delivering me into betrayal, all that love a mask.
Of course now as an adult I appreciate the importance in a kleptocracy of forcing children to do what they’re told by the owner / mercantile state while they’re still too weak to offer much resistance, too unformed to take vengeance. (Vengeance? against what? against the school building?) (Even killing the teacher would do no good: as a fellow told Crazy Horse about the white man, They’ve got an unending number of them. Kill this army and another army will simply follow in its place.) (Even if you could give the bureaucrat a fat lip, another bureaucrat would just come out of the dispenser, knowing nothing but that you’re trouble.) And what bond is more important for the state to break and break fast than that of parent / child? Break it hard, break it permanent, like Humpty Dumpty. But I bet that human parents delivered their children up for sacrifice even before kleptocracy emerged. Give the kid a drug. Drag him up the pyramid to the crimson altar.
Even so parents knew they were just gambling: trying to buy time before the god would take them.
I picture President Bush: so cute, so innocent: so innocent of sentience; yet I bet even he knows his turn at the god’s hands will come.
After all, the state is just another temp: like mother but with none of her skill. The only thing real is the god: who’ll gobble you.
Isn’t that what Aquinas said?
Sure it is. It just needs pk to translate.
2004 12 09 Early last century Joyce’s novel seemed like the prototype for a portrait of an artist: young, sensitive, concerned … awakening to beauty more than to love. How different our sense of everything became by the time Beckett started writing in French. And they were friends! For a while Joyce was everybody’s artist’s artist. (Joyce became my favorite “poet” at age fifteen!) But for decades now Beckett is my artist’s artist.
Jenning’s Aztec is must reading. The priest skinns the guy’s daughter, wears the skin, is surprised when the guy gets mad.
EdCentric Magazine paid me $100 for the article they commissioned me to write, 1971. In Sebring, 1989, a guy paid me like $20 for a manuscript of a novel. One fan has promised me contributions of which I’ve received zero.
My collection day will come with God: or not at all.
Unless I change my mind and take my own vengeance.
But on whom? Which American should Crazy Horse kill? Which human should Jesus kill?
Should God really let Lot live?
You’ll need a flexible mind to follow the very different gods and God here. But there are prototypes for each, and all.