Metabolizing Nukes

Recreating (and advancing) pk’s censored domains: Macroinformation.org &
Knatz.com / Personal / Writing / Satire /

To date, 2015 03 12, I’d sampled only a couple of my ironic letters to Nixon’s White House: today I add one I hadn’t expected to showcase thanks to Luc Besson’s movie Lucy, with Scarlett Johansson, which ghosts my second novel, as well. I post the letter, then comment further:

PERSONAL AND CONFIDENTIAL
Bureau for Research in Visceral Defense
Time-Life Building
New York City

25 May 1970

President Richard Nixon
The White House
Washington, DC

Dear President:

My report on the progress of our secret project is not due for another six months. Nevertheless I am writing you now because I wish to abandon our present research and re-channel your funds to a scheme wich would better insure our defense and which would be less personally painful to me. Not that I mind my discipline or danger – I would not have agreed to try to learn the process of metabolizing dynamite in the large intestine by practicing with my own viscus were I not prepared to give my life to our Government – but I am convinced that my present project, requiring even greater self-discipline, would be even more efficacious in assuring your continuing rule.

The chronic spastic colon and the piles with which I am plagued as a result of our experiments are but part of the revelation that the solution to our problems lies not in the body but in the mind. In meditation on achieving the fifth level of consciousness last week, it came on me in a flash: if I could metabolize explosives in my own body by reaching that esoteric realm of concentration, perhaps I could, by pressing on to the seventh level of consciousness, command such powers that I could disassociate and reassociate existing patterns of matter and energy. That is to say, instead of blowing up, I could dissolve your enemies.

I did not like the idea at first. You and I have had too many failures over the last nineteen years from changing tactics midstream. It also occurred to me that our country would be only slightly improved by the dissolution of two thirds to three quarters of its population. But then I realized that if I could evaporate people, I could evaporate their specific environments too. Just imagine this country purged of the campuses of Columbia, Harvard, Berkeley, and Yale as well as of their radical inhabitants. An additional benefit of my plan is that, ;unlike your current methods, it does not in any way constitute a further pollution of the general environment. I would eliminate the need for defoliation and pacification. (Besides, I’m not sure that those methods would work as well here as they do in Southeast Asia.) On the contrary, it would eliminate a great number of the polluters quite cleanly.

I am not asking for more money right now. Present funds will be sufficient until the next stage where I teach my methods to a select loyal group. But it is exigent that you approve my new plan. Time is running out. Our expectation of another six years in which to work has been pruned by circumstances to less than another two years. It does not look like you could win another election. If fact, there is talk of impeachment. We had better work fast.

Yours truly,

Rex Publican, Director
Bureau for Research in Visceral Defense

PS: You might send me some more LSD though. I don’t trust the stuff you get on the street.

God, I’m so proud of that, now that I see it again. Maybe I should just publish all my letters to Nixon: though I feel it’s way too late to do any good: it was way too late then, forty-five years ago.

I hope Luc Besson sees this, notes the parallels. But, Luc, more important still, notice how your movie also duplicates my second novel, Beginning.

Satire

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About pk

Seems to me that some modicum of honesty is requisite to intelligence. If we look in the mirror and see not kleptocrats but Christians, we’re still in the same old trouble.
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